Oana
Hello and welcome to another episode of The Feminine Uncut podcast. I’m Oana, your host, life coach, and founder of TheFeminine.com, a digital platform dedicated to women all over the world. We champion a new paradigm of how to take care of yourself as a woman the feminine way. And actually, today the script will demystify what the feminine way really means. So stay tuned because this makes the topic of our next two episodes and it’s worth listening to. The online programs created by The Feminine are the embodiment of my coaching methods, which spreads over 16 years of experience. And it is definitely very influenced by my personal journey. It brings together a tried and true body of work with the intention to meet all your questions, concerns, and curiosities and really define a new paradigm of self-care, self-love, and self-worth for women. Curious to explore more? Start your journey by just jumping to thefeminine.com SACREDSPACE. It is our sacred space meditation, the Alpha and the Omega of the journey. Because everything that is feminine starts with the heart. The sacred space of the heart. Meditation is just the bedrock of anything you desire or want to manifest.
Oana
And I’ve created this meditation especially to do it every day. It’s easy. You just tune in and start living the feminine way. So moving on to episode 26 of The Feminine podcast I have here my partner with me, Ioana. Let’s start. What have you prepared for us today? She’s going to drop a lot of questions on me, and I’m going to answer about me and my personal journey and how the feminine actually defines itself.
Ioana
Hi, Oana. Hello, everyone. I don’t know if you remember very well, but we closed the previous episode of ONCAT by promising our listeners that we are going to do another follow-up on career and divine gifts because everybody has questions about divine gifts and career and how you can bring them together in a functional way. So this podcast, I would like us to start with you telling us how you tapped into your divine gifts and how this tapping influenced your career. And I think your personal example would be very useful because many of us still are very unclear on what divine gifts actually look like and probably leave with uncertainty. Can we really use the divine gifts and make a living out of them, or are they just a good hobby? So let’s start from the beginning. You know what beginning means to you. So you choose the beginning, and I will just follow up with questions depending on where I feel I should go deeper.
Oana
Yeah, you can always interrupt and ask some questions. Well, the beginning is really the beginning for me because I was 18 years old. I was just finishing high school and moved to Bucharest, which is the home capital of my native country, Romania. And I was moving there to literally start my University degree and dropped my plans to go to France for University because I fell in love. So, like, I fell in love. I moved to the capital of my native country. And here very soon into my degree, I went with my best friend, who was a psychologist, to this transformational course. I didn’t have any idea of what that meant or what that meant back then, but I was a very curious person and very open, and I just wanted to try new things. So I ended up in this workshop, which was really a big workshop with 300 people in the room with a very bold, cool, independent woman in front of them as the facilitator. And I looked at her and I fell in love with her, with how she was handling things, with how she was addressing issues for people, and how she was coaching them.
Oana
So basically, when I was like 18 and a couple of months, I just totally fell in love with being a coach. And I pursued this career from that moment on. Like, I went to that lady and said, I don’t know who you are, what you do, and how I can learn from you, but this is my dream come true. I know it, I feel it, and this is what I want to do. And she directed me toward the director of the headquarters of the Romanian branch because it was a multinational American company that was doing transformational workshops. And this is how my coaching career began. And this woman didn’t really think when I was 18, I just went into her office and I said, this is it. I’m staying here. I want to learn. She didn’t really believe me. And she was like, okay, so I’m going to throw up the biggest challenge you can ever have or we are having at this current moment. And if you’re really committed and have this drive, then you’re going to stick to it, and then you’re going to be proved that you are here on the past.
Ioana
Do you feel now at this moment, with all your experience and background, do you think that the magnetism that had drawn you at that point towards this type of coaching was you tapping into your gifts? Do you think the magnitudes came exactly specifically from the divine gifts?
Oana
Totally. And I think it came from my personal mission. But at that moment in time, I had zero way to define this as such. I was just struck by lightning and just went for it. I didn’t know that that meant my divine gifts or that meant my career or that was very connected to my soul mission, zero connection to that. I was just passionate about it. I was fully alive. I was working 12 hours a day, and I had zero experience of effort. And I did that for seven years in a row. I was mad. I was crazy. That was the only thing I was living, breathing, feeling, and seeing and I had a huge success. I was a prodigy child and actually met the challenging way more than that person. She actually threw me a workshop and said, we’re currently having 100 people in the workshop. You should do 400. And I did 450. And even to this day, people ask me, how did you do it? You were an 18-year-old who had zero knowledge or zero capacity. I don’t know. I don’t know what would be the answer. But if I look back at who I was being, I was living, and breathing the passion of making a difference in the world and contributing to people.
Oana
So I was being that passionate self every second of the whole project. And that passion sticks with me.
Ioana
Yeah, that was actually my next question. How long did the honeymoon last?
Oana
The honeymoon is still here. My honeymoon is still here. Although we’re having a 16-year marriage now between me and my goal and my mission and my passion. And I’ve gone through the ups and downs of any longstanding career with motivation and lack of motivation, with being tired and overburned, to being excited and all these phases of renewal. But the honeymoon is still here in the sense that it still very touches me to the core of my being when I can see somebody’s face light up because I facilitated a space in which their life shifted. That just touches me to the core, and it touches me to the core to be authentically connected to other human beings and make something more possible for life itself, not just for me and that person in the conversation.
Ioana
I think highlighting the organic and the natural ups and downs is very useful because probably many of us have this ideal impression that once we find our gift, everything is pink and Sunshine and hearts and glossy. But actually, it’s not like that. From what you say and from what I feel while listening to you, is that actually, your gifts can be very challenging.
Oana
Oh, yeah. And actually what was really funny and I would have never even guessed is I’ve done that project, which is like a huge success, and it skyrocketed my career. I was sent to the States. I was moved into the headquarters of the San Francisco office. I was taken into this very premium, high-end, 50 trainers group. I started being coached by five top coaches in the company. It skyrocketed my life. But the moment I actually had the success and saw those people in the room, and I was at the mic, and people were acknowledging me, and I was looking at these 460 people in the room. I hit depression, like, straight on. And I was like, looking at that success, and I was like, oh, my God, I feel so disconnected and so depressed. What’s going on? And I was afraid, and I didn’t know why I was afraid because it felt like that was it, and it happened. And then I didn’t feel anything. So it was like a big breakdown immediately after I hit some very successful milestones. And the breakdown was connected to, first of all, owning the success, which can be challenging, and then really thinking that’s what I want to do.
Oana
And the depression came from. And now what? Like, I’ve hit a lot of impossible objectives that I put myself into. I’ve proven I’ve done it. Now what? Because the next step was about me defining myself as a coach. It wasn’t about meeting the challenge for somebody else. It was about defining who I was. And it started a whole new stage in my career, which was a developmental stage where I had to learn from scratch the trade because you have the passion and you have the divine gifts or you have the drive, but you don’t have the skills. The skills are hard. The skills are hard in any area. I had, like a five year long training where I just hit every single shadow I could possibly hit, had to encounter different challenges that were totally out of my comfort zone, and really put myself to the test of the excellence and performance in that particular trade. And I was like going down the roller coaster again and again and again. So I could definitely say that my training lasted around seven years. That was my University. I attended a classical University at the same time, but literally, I studied coaching for seven years and was trained and teaching and facilitating for people. So it was theoretical and practical at the same time. And it was a lot of hard work and very uncomfortable.
Ioana
How did you overcome the challenges of these six years that came when you learned your trade? And what were the resources that now, you know, helped you in defining yourself and in professionalizing your divine gifts?
Oana
Well, I think it’s choice and commitment, and I think these two things are medicine in any area. I think that you have to at some point choose something and stick to it because excellence doesn’t come from changing your mind from one day to another. When you’re a child, you can change your mind. You’re a doctor now, you can be a painter tomorrow. And I think that’s very healthy in childhood energy. But as an adult, you must at some point, like, really say, okay, what am I choosing? And am I going to give it my ten year lifespan of trading and learning and experimenting and going with the failures of that trade and really kind of grasping it because it takes ten years at least, and I’ll jump a little bit in the future, but we’ll address it at that point? I found another divine gift at some point, and that’s totally disconnected from spirituality and coaching, which is painting. And it came out of my healing journey, and it has the same type of passion. And I feel like I’m struck by lightning. I’m happy. I’m centered. I’m aligned with who I really am.
Oana
I feel that when I paint and I was, like, really sad when I tapped into these defined gifts because I was, like, almost done with my 30s. I’m, like, already in my mid 30s and I’m successful in my coaching career. I’m competent, and it takes ten years to even get to the point of becoming competent, right? So I was like, oh, my God, maybe I was a painter the whole time. Maybe my whole life was about painting and I freaking blew it. What am I doing with my life? And then I had to choose. Am I going to drop everything and start painting in my 30s and hopefully I’ll become famous and rich? Well, no, not really. I might be very talented at it. It might even be my divine gift, one of my divine gifts. But looking straightforwardly at my life, I wasn’t ready to give it ten years of the rollercoaster of failure and success until I could prove that I could be a renowned painter or whatever, it was just me. And then I had to reach for shoes again. My main career, the one that I’m going to make a living out of, is my spirituality and my coaching trade.
Oana
And so it’s a choice. I would say it’s a choice, definitely.
Ioana
And this extinction is very useful because it really pinpoints how one makes a rational and mature choice from tapping into his or her gifts and really making it a profession and keeping it just as a hobby. Choices and at the basis of everything. You weren’t working with the feminine at that moment in your life now?
Oana
Oh, no. I was totally immersed in masculine principles, and the company was totally masculine. It had the structure, the rigidity, the logic. It was all about numbers and performance and integrity and accountability and leadership. I was conducting leadership programs five months intensive, very hardcore leadership programs, very tough. All the women around me were as tough as men. It was unequal. The company did not have more men than women, but everybody was masculine.
Ioana
Like the dominant energy.
Oana
The dominant energy, the dominant principle of work, how we were conducting our business, how we were looking at excellence and performance. Then it sprang from a man. The person who invented it was a man. And I don’t have any issues to tell who that was. It was Warner Edhart, and the company was on market education for those who are. So I’m just curious. It was very masculine. And the first seven years of my career in the silliest masculine was really training myself in how to be the most performant leader I could be. Even if I was wearing a skirt, I was still totally 360 degrees of men thinking and acting as a man.
Ioana
Was there a point when you started to get a sense of that being a problem? Because now everybody talks about feminine leadership and women empowerment and self-care and about everything related to that. But back then, that was not a topic.
Oana
Yeah, nobody was talking about it. Everybody was just talking about transformation. And coaching was still not in America, but internationally speaking in Europe. Asia was still a brand new concept because when we were traveling to Europe or to Asia or Australia and we were conducting introductions or programs, it was like Chinese for people in America. It spread in the 60s, and it was like already there as a regular conversation. No, definitely not. It was about self-development, becoming more, working with your limitations, reaching the impossible, and being the creator of your life, which meant leadership for this paradigm for coaching. So, no, I had zero references for the feminine at that point. But funny enough, what really was a game changer for me in my career, and in my personal journey was a feminine question, which is well because I was saying that I was a prodigy child and I really performed very quickly. I was the youngest in the history of the company to reach that level of performance. So I very soon came to be interviewed for the last phase of the training, which was like a miracle for everybody, including me. And in that phase of the interview process, they asked me if I would be willing to really put my career first and consider not being a mother.
Oana
And that was a very strong, profound question. And it just struck such, according to me that I just made a huge step back. Although for the last seven years, I was preparing myself for that interview and for that commitment and for whatever that entails. And that was the moment when I said, well, maybe I don’t really know, and I don’t really want to give an answer because first of all, I was too young to even be put in that situation, and it really felt inappropriate. But beyond that, it was literally, well, I don’t really feel that that should be my life, like choosing between my career and my motherhood. Why can’t I have both of them? And why don’t I feel that I can have both of them? And why don’t I feel safe to even engage in the conversation? So it struck some words in me. This motherhood issue actually was a very personal issue. I didn’t know back then. It was a personal issue, me being a mother. So I think it kind of, like, hit my personal theme. And that just like it awakened me to something that I didn’t even know I was dealing with, somewhere hidden somewhere subtle, deep down in the grounds of my psyche.
Oana
And I actually said no. It was that opportunity of saying yes. And I said no, which was crazy, but I do crazy stuff. And I took a sabbatical year out of the blue. Like, well, here goes my seven years of training and hard work.
Ioana
Goodbye.
Oana
Goodbye. Let’s start fresh. What do you do? I have no idea. I’m just going to go have Tango lessons, which was totally, very feminine, actually. So I started my sabbatical year and decided to travel, meet other spiritual processes, other teachers, other Masters, kind of, like, expand and broaden my expertise. And I just started doing things that were connected to meditation, painting, and dancing. And it was totally rational at that moment. It was totally insane. But I just did it. I felt it. I was like, I was called to do that. I went for it. And then that was the beginning of the second stage.
Ioana
So you allowed yourself to drift, or you were like, I’m going to Antarctica to meet my higher self. Many of us, when we decide to take a sabbatical something here, we say, I need to go to Antarctica to meet my higher self.
Oana
No, I was going to Antarctica to meet my higher self.
Ioana
You knew you were going to Antarctica?
Oana
Yeah, because I felt the no. Oh, this is not good for me to move forward with this. I felt a no. And then I knew, and I felt that I was able to have the courage to admit to myself that I wasn’t fulfilled doing what I was doing and that it didn’t have enough depth. And I wasn’t really connected to the depth of me, and I wasn’t facilitating the level of depth to other people that I was coaching.
Ioana
That’s something that you felt in your belly or in your head? No.
Oana
I felt it in my being. It wasn’t even belly head. I just felt it in my heart. And I wanted to answer the question, what makes me happy? Because I really distinguished. I wasn’t happy. So the trigger was motherhood. But literally, it skyrocketed me into the conversation, what makes me happy? And if I don’t do that? Because I really know that I shouldn’t be doing that. Shouldn’t following on this career anymore. What am I doing? And I didn’t know what I was doing, so I was in a blank spot, and in a way, it felt like I can’t do anything. So what am I going to do?
Ioana
But you had an objective. You had a sort of intention.
Oana
I had an intention, but it wasn’t about my career. I had the intention of meeting God. Okay. I even made, like, an intentional manifesto. I said I give you one year. This year, I’m going to really do something spiritual very intensely and with a lot of integrity, because I knew that type of work from my career background, and I started a book called The Course in Miracles. It’s a very hardcore book. It’s very spiritual, and it’s very hard to finish it. It has 365 more difficult than the Bible. Yes, it has 365 meditations, one meditation each day. And I said to myself, God, I’m giving you one year. I really have to know if I’m an athlete or if I believe in you. I don’t know. I’ve never put that question really authentically to the table. This is my moment. I want to see, I want to feel I want to meet you. And I’m going to give myself this practice as a way to get there. And Marion Williamson really did a lot of coursing, miracles, and explanations. It’s a really profound encoding of your personality and your ego. So I did that, and it just started my spiritual journey.
Ioana
You see, you spoke about the turning point. And all of us go through a turning point in our lives and hit the rock bottom when we really don’t know what to do next. And many of us allow ourselves to just drift without knowing what we are doing and how to make it work and how to make it meaningful and useful, or we just make a compromise and say, okay, I’m just going to stay here for the rest of my life, get married, have kids. Even if we feel it, it’s not something that we really desire. So how one can work through this turning point while they are sure they make it meaningful and really use the break or the blockage?
Oana
Even the blockage to get to the next level of whatever I think it’s about creating a context and having clarity, even if you don’t have clarity, which I know can be counterintuitive to how people think because when you’re foggy and confused and don’t know where you’re going and you’re drifting, it feels like that’s how that ends. But the observer’s mind and I were very trained. That’s something that people need to understand. I was very trained.
Ioana
Yeah. That’s why I asked you the question because none of us are that trained.
Oana
No, none of us is that trained. And none of us really I mean, some of us. Yeah, but a very small percentage. I was very trained. And one of the things that were the hardest for me and I’m not going to answer your question. One of the things that were the hardest for me to let go of when I said no to my career with Denmark was the structure. I was having five empowering coaching calls per day with five top trainers, different trainers, different coaches, men, and women. When I was having a mentor, that was like a very personal relationship. The level of the support structure for me to tune into what’s possible and really connect with my resources and really stay positive was premium. It was like a golden metal athlete. And that’s one of the things that people need to understand when they make changes in their life. They need a support structure. Change doesn’t happen in a vacuum. You’re all alone in the desert. Well, Jesus did it, but we’re not necessarily Jesus.
Ioana
And maybe it’s also useful to point out that reading like Hart Tolly or watching YouTube motivational videos is not useful if you want to put salt on the one.
Oana
Yes. It’s not enough. It’s very superficial. Although it’s not superficial. Neither I kartola or meditation or anything you do. That’s inspirational, but it’s very superficial in relationship to the sabotaging and the limitations and the shadows that are activated in a life crisis that you have to move through and go through to get yourself to a clear point. So first of all, that was like, oh, my God, where I’m going to have that structure? And I spent three years creating an internal support structure. So it wasn’t immediate.
Ioana
You created your own support structure from nothing.
Oana
Yes.
Ioana
You manifested it.
Oana
Yes. It took a lot of years. And that was one of the main things. And I knew that whatever I would do in my life, I would have to make sure I have the same level, the golden metal level of the support structure.
Ioana
So point number one in navigating a crisis is to get yourself a good support structure.
Oana
Yeah.
Ioana
Point number two, go all the way through.
Oana
Admit that there is a crisis, and activate the observer’s mind. The observer knew who’s saying, okay, I’m in the middle of a crisis. Feels fucked up. Sorry for the language. I’m confused. I’m drifting. I don’t know where I’m going to go. And I hear it comes from the empowering context, but I’m giving myself two years. I’m giving myself six months. I’m giving myself one year. I’m going to drift. I’m not going to be about drifting. I’m not going to validate that I’m drifting. I’m just going to drift. I’m going to really sink into the drifting. I’m really going to be confused. I’m even going to allow myself to do crazy stuff, stupid stuff, irresponsible stuff. I’m just going to go for it. Six months. And when six months hit, I’m just going to wake up from this dream and choose something, something that’s more responsible, that’s more productive, that is connected to what I’ve learned in those drifting times, and so on and so forth.
Ioana
Can we describe this second point? I trust the process and don’t put pressure on ourselves.
Oana
But also have clarity and admit that you are in a process. I think people don’t do that and they lack empowerment if they don’t admit that that’s where they are and they don’t give themselves a deadline. You don’t have to put pressure on yourself, but you can be intentional. I give myself one year to be confused. At the end of the year, no matter how confused or clear I am, I’m going to make a choice. I gave myself a year to meet God.
Ioana
So be intentional and set objectives.
Oana
Yes. Even if it’s like very vague. One year of sabbatical. One year. At the end of those 365 days, I’m going to show up on my first day of the new year with a life choice.
Ioana
And what did God look like?
Oana
Well, he showed up. He showed up and we had coffee over 05:00 in the morning on my couch no, I’m joking not necessarily, but I’m joking it was more a connection I started hearing my higher self voice I started feeling connected to my higher self and it felt like a dialogue but it wasn’t a dialogue of the mind and actually the course in Miracles was able to take my mind and really scattered it into the million billion scattered PCs so my mind wasn’t there anymore and the process was intense the process was tough I had one year of very intense chronic panic attacks I didn’t really have any medicine for them so I was scattering a million pieces and the panic attacks were just a symptom of my emotional self needing healing and being trapped in anxiety and fear which is a personal theme I’ve been discovering through this journey and being intentional also meant in that moment of time that I already knew that motherhood was something that was missing in my life not me being a mother, me having a mother I also distinguished that I wanted to be a full blown, profoundly impactful woman leader I wasn’t wanting to be a men leader with a skirt and I really figured out and understood that what wasn’t really functioning for me in my old career was the masculine context I was looking at life from and I knew that I wasn’t having women that were wise and feminine and sensual but strong and powerful and charismatic at the same time as a reference So at that moment I started getting clarity not about the path or where I was going but that I need healing and I need it from the feminine And I started having this intention of meeting the feminine energy and meeting a spiritual woman who could really be my spiritual mother and who could teach me and facilitate for me transmission of a sort So you had these feelings before actually meeting anything related to the family? Oh, yeah it came like a void in my heart and a void in my life if the support structure was gone then that was a big void and then I had to fill that void with something and it put my mind to the test and I had to think what’s missing? What’s missing in my life? What’s missing in my life? So what’s missing was that I had to heal my wounded child with what with mother energy because that was something that was missing and still is missing I wanted and I felt a passion in my feminine side, in my femininity and I was afraid of it and I was judging it in the wrong way I felt that if I’m passionate and sexy that would mean being a slot So I had all these preconceptions in my psyche that just surfaced to my rational mind and then I was like really debating, well, you can be passionate but how do you channel that passion and what do you channel that passion?
Oana
Who can be your guide? Who can be your mentor? Oh, I have no mentor. Well, can you come up with somebody who can be your mentor in the movies or at TV shows, or in a book? Hell, no. I don’t really have a mentor. I don’t even have a reference for a mentor. Oh, my God, this is really missing. It was like an AHA moment, not for me personally, but in itself, for society. It was a personal journey back then, and I wasn’t really thinking of sharing anything with anybody. It was just me, with myself, really putting the right questions that were connected to myself and my happiness and my fulfillment and what was missing in my life. But they were all feminine or they were all about femininity. So I wasn’t really in any second of my life willing to compromise my power, my leadership, my vision, my courage, the boldness that I was having or playing big, but I wasn’t really willing to do it being masculine.
Ioana
So we can’t say that this was a second big turning point.
Oana
Yes. While meeting God, what really was there in that context, in that spiritual context that was activated for me was dispersed for the feminine energy. And then I put the gap, I put the distance in an intention. I made a change by saying, I’m missing that. How can I create that? I didn’t just get stuck there. Oh, I’m missing that. I’m a victim of that. No, how do I create that? That was my first question, and I said, well, now that you exist, God, that also comes with miracles. So now that I’ve met you, can you provide a miracle, please? Which would be in my search, in my travels, and in all the things that I’m looking for and doing. Can you really have me meet a woman that is also both wise and feminine, both profound and vulnerable, both cool and sexy, but also have the balls of ten men? Because that’s what I need, basically. Can she be my mother, please? Because I never had one emotional.
Ioana
I think it’s easier meeting God.
Oana
It’s easier meeting God. Well, yeah, it’s true, but I met her.
Ioana
Oh, you met her?
Oana
I met her. I met her in one of my spiritual, energetic, Quantic physics workshops, and it was a soulmate encounter. We looked each other in the eyes, we started crying. And ever since then, we’ve been on this amazing personal and professional journey together. And she’s a shaman, she’s a psychotherapist. She’s a wise, feminine, profound, totally human to the core woman, mother, wise guru, whatever. She can be both and everything, actually. And she definitely was not only a turning point in my life but the medicine I was looking for. She was the beginning of my feminine journey, and she was the mother and the mentor I was looking for. And she came and she was like, I’ve been dealing with the same questions for years now. I haven’t met another woman who has the same questions I can’t believe in if you’re like three and so years younger. That’s exactly how I feel. That’s exactly how I think. That’s exactly what I think is missing. Let’s connect. And it’s been deeply connected ever since. Every week and in her heart and in her arms and in her context. I managed to heal the broken parts of my inner child in my childhood and connected to my divine gift and at some point really go further in my mission and really explore the feminine.
Oana
And this is how I tuned in with my divine gifts. I did a lot of inner-depth work and journeying into the Chambers of my soul.
Ioana
I imagine that if you wrote a book now we’re at the first page of the chapter called Encountering the Feminine.
Oana
Yeah, I actually started it and it is the first page of the first chapter. It is meeting my spiritual mother, definitely. And we went on amazing spiritual journeys in places around the world where the feminine energy is still embedded in the rocks, in the land, like physically. Yeah, physically in different places like Sedona or Egypt or different parts of Asia, and did a lot of shamanic transmissions and work and healing and activation and connection with the feminine energy because feminine energy has always been present.
Ioana
I’m very curious now because when we met and you said anything about feminine energy or femininity or defined feminine goddess, I don’t know who you are. Taking Chinese to me, I had the same issue. I was missing the feminine energy in my life. I was missing the modern energy in my life. My history with women was traumatizing. Of course, I didn’t get through the process of consciously getting aware of what I was missing. But I’m curious how you felt when you first started to touch and feel and experience the feminine. How was it for you? Because for us, when we start the process consciously or unconsciously, it’s like taking Chinese. What is this?
Oana
Yeah, because now when you encounter the feminine through the work that I do, it’s a lot. It is a toolkit in itself. I worked a lot with the mother energy at the beginning, just basically connecting with the mother Earth energy and grounding myself. And it was connected to my emotional trauma as a child, being grounded in my body, being connected to my body, healing the mother wound, healing my inner girl. So I worked a lot shamanically with the inner girl and with the mother energy, which is one of the things that I particularly share in the feminine transmission. And it is particularly unique, like your method, like part of my method, and part of what’s complementary and unique about my method in relation to other women who do feminine transmissions. Because together with my spiritual mother, as part of my healing journey, we really went deeply into healing the mother wound and through the mother energy, accessing to the right of the passage that the mother energy provides to the inner girl, access the different layers, archetypes, and structures of the feminine energy, which is very complex. It’s shocking with seven arms, trillions of textures, and possibilities.
Oana
So that’s part of the journey for me. And the first divine gift that I encountered in my healing journey was literally working with the inner child and facilitating a space for adults to heal their inner child or activate the wonders of their inner child and bring that energy into their life. And it’s something that I do. I facilitate this type of training, and this type of program will have something very soon digitally, which is like a surprise coming up. And that was the first strong turning point of working with the feminine. And then it came to a second stage, which I think we’re going to talk about in the next podcast, right?
Ioana
Yeah, exactly. I want to dedicate the next episode entirely to your methods and how you work with the feminine. But just to bring closure to this episode, I want you to speak about the challenges you personally encountered when you started working and experiencing the feminine. Because one of the things I experienced, again, completely unwearyingly, was that one thing that can happen is not compulsory, but it can happen when you start working with the feminine energies like you are completely burned to Ashes, everything that you thought sturdy and fixed in your life because it’s like the Collie and the door got danced before. Exactly. First, you have to destroy it to burn, to purify because burning is like purifying. And then you start to build something new. And this can be very challenging because it’s like burning down your identity in a way.
Oana
That’s why you need a lot of support structures and a circle of sisterhood, that sacred sisterhood to support that transition. And yes, I’ve seen it in other workshops that are working with the feminine energy that I’ve also done with other women around the world, that people just move into very high, intense, ecstatic vibrational or cosmetic textures of the feminine, which is very intense, very hardcore training. It really destroys the ego in a way that can traumatize the wounded parts of yourself. It can retraumatize you. And I’ve done a lot of healing work before engaging with the feminine. I really felt that I had to do a lot of inner healing work before I went on connecting with higher vibrational frequencies of the feminine. And it’s what I teach, although it doesn’t promise very sexy, cold, hot, ecstatic orgasms. All of the sudden, I really know from my own personal journey how important working in trusting the feminine and reconnecting with it and really understanding the feminine principle and the feminine way is very crucial and very important in the process of surrendering to the feminine and becoming feminine. And when I say becoming feminine, I’m not talking about feeling sexy and equal pay and all those things that are very important that we’re really trailblazing right now on a social level.
Oana
I’m really talking about defining and understanding for ourselves, firstly, as women, what feminine really looks like, what is a feminine lifestyle, and what does that imply? And then from being feminine, which is not just looking good, it’s having a voice, but having a voice honoring the feminine inside of you. And from that definition, bring it to the world, bring it to men, bring it to future children and future generations.
Ioana
So the challenges for you.
Oana
What were the challenges in meeting the feminine emitting?
Ioana
The feminine?
Oana
I was guided the whole time. I think the biggest challenge was letting go of the masculine weight. And I never really thought it was so embedded. It was a whole reconstruction and it was a slow process. It wasn’t an easy process. I had to let go of all the ways in which I worked or I lived from stress, from tension, logic, rigidity, from control, and really be catapulted into a multi-dimensional, organic, natural, and intuitive way of manifesting living, expressing life, giving myself permission to be that multi-dimensional, organic, seven arms Shaxi. And that was like, firstly in me in internal shift and then meeting from the feminine, another man and having a relationship with a man who is totally embedded in the masculine principles and showing in my Shakti energy and really educating that man to abide by the rules of the feminine if they want to abide by me. That was the second challenge, and then the third challenge, I think, was really owning and honoring that. That’s my life, and that’s how I want to live my life and that’s what I want to show to the world. Not that I wasn’t ready to do that, but it is strong.
Oana
It’s very powerful. Yes. And beyond the fact that it is a commitment, it is a very powerful life and you have to own that power. Feminine is not a wishy mushy, soft Pinky. That’s part of the inner color world and the adolescent, idealized version of the feminine, the feminine, its maturity. The feminine full-blown expression is really powerful. And I had to steady myself, teach myself, stay with myself enough so that I can get accustomed to that level of power and own it, and really express life from that level.
Ioana
I think we can do a specific episode on the challenges of the family.
Oana
Yes.
Ioana
It’s now the idea that popped into my head because there are some challenges in the family. But now I suggest drawing conclusions and saving the rest for the next episode on the method, your method and the particularities, the benefits, and the whole magic. I try to avoid this word, but I never succeed. It’s like the magic in it.
Oana
Yes.
Ioana
So thank you for the story and I hope anybody who listens will be super inspired in their own journey. Her journey or his journey. And thank you for sharing with us.
Oana
Yeah. Thank you so much for all the questions.
