Oana

Hello, lovely ones. We’re back with a brand new Uncut podcast. And it’s a very exciting time for me also because I’ve given birth to my little girl. So it’s a whole new chapter of my life. And this is going to be the 17th podcast we’re doing today, and we’re just warming up. So come in, stay and be part of our adventure as we take our life to the next level. And we share everything about life, womanhood, femininity, and all the hot topics that are part of our life and your life. And we really want to thank you for all the amazing feedback you’ve given us along the way. And keep doing it. Keep giving us questions, sending us emails, answering what’s teaming for you, what’s hot and important and relevant in your life as a woman and not only as a woman. Maybe men will start writing also to be part of a larger conversation that is about womanhood and it is about feminine power. And how do we express that nowadays? I think there are a lot of things that need to be reinvented or re-expressed in this big topic of femininity. And definitely, our podcast aims for that.

 

Oana 

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Oana, founder of Thefeminine.com, an online platform dedicated to women all over the world. And our mission is to explore femininity and express it the best we can and also bring together a sacred circle of women who are devoted to living life from the heart to fully own their voice and their power and express it into the world. Our biggest values and the backbone of our work is around love, humanity, and community. And we strongly believe that these values put together can create a powerful energy in our lives and in the lives of those around us. So with the feminine, we do believe that once acknowledged and included in our lives, the feminine principle, along with its values, can totally transform the way we live, the way we love, and the way we work. I’m a transformational coach, and for the last 14, almost 15 years now, I’ve entirely dedicated my life to empowering people to live a life they truly love. And in the last seven or eight years, I’ve been focusing on women. It has also been part of my own quest as a woman and my own search as a woman.

 

Oana 

But it grew on me and it became a mission. And now I’ve really dedicated my work to women, to empowering them to live life from the heart, because I know when that is happening. A woman’s power is full Bloom in this UNCAT podcast. Together with my colleague Joanna, we are going to go around the topic of the inner girl because we had such splendid reactions coming from many of you on the matter of the inner girl that we decided to go deeper and look better into the dynamic inner girl woman and really see what would be some important issues that we can focus upon so we can bring bigger balance in our lives. Hi, Ioana.

 

Ioana

Hi, Oana. I have a challenge for you. Do you really want to go on uncut? I think we should include the baby and the giggles in this podcast.

 

Oana 

If she starts giggling, we’ll definitely go and cut. My baby girl is actually a very good kid because every time I have work, she goes to sleep. It’s amazing. She really is a supportive little angel. But if she joins the podcast, definitely. Let’s go and cut.

 

Ioana

We have a question because you mentioned the reactions we’ve been receiving. We have a question. This a very long question. In fact, coming from Juana, she has the same name as you, but I think she lives in the US. She’s an avid listener of this podcast and she sent us a huge story. Beautiful story. But I will try to pick the questions. So Juana asks, is it correct to speculate that too much masculinity can affect our fertility and the gift of creation? How do we enhance or regain our fertility through the feminine? Too many women struggle with infertility nowadays. You touch a bit on the subject in the second pillar of the feminine. I think she speaks here about grounding. It touches a bit on this subject, but she would really love to take the discussion to the next level. And there’s another question she asked, but I think we should dig a little bit into this and then move on to the second question where she touches more on the inner girl that she just said. But I think this is a really hot topic on the way. Many women stumble upon femininity issues, not necessarily infertility, but women’s issues, woman’s issues in general.

 

Oana

Yeah. And they are connected to creation and nurturing. And definitely, it’s a very important topic whether we see it or not. And I think we start seeing it the moment we want to have kids and we can’t it’s a little bit later on. As a topic in our lives as women. We first focus on being sensual, being charismatic, and attracting men into our lives. But then motherhood is really an important topic and I’ve struggled with it in my own life, and it’s exactly how she said it. We are so embedded in those masculine values that we kind of cut off from our DNA, of creation, from our own capacity to be fertile. I don’t think we’re going to lose that gift ever, but we can become so accustomed to the masculine way that we cut off from it. And we number ourselves to this experience of giving birth, of creation, of being fertile and becoming nourishment for ourselves and others. And I think this is a very important aspect where you can see that not being feminine has an impact on our lives as women. And it has an impact on society as a whole because we can’t have children anymore, and we can’t bear children.

 

Oana (06:36)

And what’s very important for us to understand as women are we don’t lose what we have. And reclaiming it is part of the process, for sure. And reclaiming it requires, in a way, changing the perspective from putting pressure and being a very perfectionist and being very judgmental and being very stressed around. We have to achieve something, whatever that is, even a baby, to allow our bodies to relax and be in the flow and to slowly enjoy the silence that the feminine is bringing into our lives as a practice so that we can start hearing the whispers of our heart, the whispers of our warmth, the whispers of our body. Because the moment we tap into our body and we address its needs, then the feminine energy starts flowing again and we are experiencing a flow. It may be scary in the beginning because we’re so not used to it and it’s so against the norm that it’s just I can’t let go. What do you mean? I have to let go and take a break and really rest. I can’t because I have all these assignments. I need to get all these done, you know, and it’s hard to say.

 

Oana

I give myself permission. I give myself permission. I give myself inner space. For example, I’m dealing with something in my life right now where I have to come to work because I decided that and it’s fine. And I am considering hiring a nanny for my little girl, and I’m not prepared for that, and I’m not prepared. And I went to this interview, and it was this beautiful lady, and she had everything for a nanny. I don’t know if perfect, but at least very good at being a nanny. And I walked from that interview very depressed, and I didn’t know the whole night. Why was I depressed? Because the nanny was perfect, and I found her very quickly, and what’s going on? And then I realized I’m not ready to move to this stage where I’m not so infused with my little girl. And I feel like I’m moving into this new chapter and I’ll lose something. The intimacy of the bond I have with her now, if I really focus on work, if I move my mind to work and my little girl stays more with a nanny than with me. And then I said to myself, well, there’s two things here.

 

Oana

If you were to actually respect your womanhood, you as a mother, are not ready to give yourself permission to not be ready. And that doesn’t mean they won’t come a day when you will be ready, but you’re not ready today. And even if you have all these assignments in your head and you have to go through all of these things and you want to accomplish all of these things, just give yourself space and permission to be where you are and to acknowledge and honor your emotions and even your body’s needs because I’m breastfeeding her and my body just doesn’t want to go away from her. And there is something that I think if I cut it off sooner than I feel ready and she feels ready, that’s a sign of my depression. So it’s very interesting now because we’re living in a masculine society. We’re used to not hearing or not honoring this voice. Who says, you’re not ready? Take a break or you’re too tired, go to sleep and your mind says, oh, my God, I can’t, I can’t afford it. I need to earn money. I need to be on top of my career.

 

Oana

I need to have a man by the end of midnight. And this is like a big breakthrough that women can have if they start working with their feminine energy and they start learning to give themselves permission to honor their voice.

 

Ioana 

I was thinking while you were speaking about something that happened to me also, and I can see from one sharing that it happened to her along her story. She somewhere says that somebody told her at a given moment, there’s something about you’re not feminine at all. She doesn’t take it in a dramatic way, but it made me think and short parentheses because I think that the question of infertility and of really having feminine issues goes a bit even back in time at some remarks that are not even that important. The first time, for instance, I was recalling a friend of ours, a common friend of ours, I won’t give his name. When I was younger, we were calling, we were working together. And he told me, I think million times, every time a man came around, it wasn’t even the question of having a relationship with him or going out. He told me, Miss, please don’t be so smart anymore because you’re an intimidating man. Or please, miss, don’t wear heels because you’re also an intimidating man, because I’m tall and with heels. I was even taller and he was genuinely trying to help you. Yeah, he was genuinely trying to be a good friend.

 

Ioana

And like Oana, I didn’t take it in a dramatic way. But now if I think about those moments, it was really frustrating. It was really making me cling and what he did, in fact, cut off my femininity. Because even if I didn’t take the magic away from his remarks, I felt frustrated. And when I met a man, I was thinking every time, should I wear or should I not wear heels? And not wearing heels put me in a non-feminine attitude sometimes because it wasn’t always only about heels. It was about attitude.

 

Oana 

The heels were complimenting the attitude.

 

Ioana

We’re complementing the attitude. And I think we arrive at not being feminine or living in a masculine way, whatever that means because sometimes people take us there without even being aware. And I’m sure so many women find themselves in a situation of this kind. The irony is that when people come and tell you you’re not feminine enough, that’s a paradox. How can we deal with this kind of situation in a healthy way?

 

Oana 

Well, when you’re a teenager, I think it’s very tricky because you don’t have inner resources and you’re not confident enough to stand up for yourself and fight back. And I think this is where the source of the wound comes in your teenage period or at the beginning of your feminine energy because once you grow older and you have more experience of life, you’re able to kind of accept who you are and then fight back those type of remarks and they don’t diminish who you are or how you feel yourself. And I think this is where the power of a sacred circle and the power of a rite of passage comes into play because women were nurtured by other women. And when something in a teenager’s inner world was happening, she would have the inner space in the circle to come and cry. And she would deal with the wisdom of other women who would say, your hips are amazing, your brain is fantastic. Your black eyes are the best black eyes in the world, girl. You don’t have to attend to the world by the exterior requirements and judgments. You can be your own true beauty.

 

Oana

And your beauty doesn’t rely on how you look at what other people say. Your beauty relies on what you feel and how much you feel and how much you allow those feelings to be expressed. And you pick up on the Hills. I would pick up on the brain because I’ve always been for an extended period of my life being judged as being too powerful, too independent, and too smart. And of course, that got me in trouble with men because men want submissive women. I think that’s a taboo, it’s getting old, and it’s not relevant anymore. And I think the more we are connected to our feminine energy, the more we are smart and intelligent, ingenious sometimes, and we have to allow this because the moment we suppress this, we feel not only frustrated but like a volcano that’s trying to erupt. And all these women’s issues are just suppression of our creative force and our creative force, once we tap into it, will bring us to our genius, will bring us to our power, and it will be untamed, and it will be passionate and it will disrupt, and it will be a pain in the neck or in the ass or whatever you want to label it.

 

Oana 

And that’s fine because the feminine energy is about evolution. And every time she expresses she like the big she, the big feminine expresses herself. She wants the truth and she wants to go beyond her comfort zone. She may do it fiercely, or she may do it with tenderness and compassion, but that’s her intention. So it’s about standing up for who you truly are and acknowledging the beauty and its diversity without trying to be part of the masculine culture, which is to be nice, be nice as a woman, and be compliant. Do everything that a man needs. Take care of him as a mother. Be a slot in bed and welcome your neighbors and your grandparents like a nice girl. And you’re not that you may play those roles. You may have aspects that are compatible with this type of labeling, but you’re definitely not that in all of your complexity. So how do you deal with that? If you’re a woman and you need to heal your adolescent aspect, you go back and tell your teenager, Fuck off. You teach her to say, Fuck off, or thanks for sharing. I’m not interested. Whatever works for you. And you give her the validation and the permission to be as she is.

 

Oana 

And I think we’re breaking through. And it has become an old topic because of picking up fashion. For example, Dolce Cabana has recently done a show where they brought every type of woman on stage, from little girls to black women to Asian women to grandmothers to very opulent body type kind of women. And Rihanna has done a luxury for all types of women. So people are starting to understand the feminine energy, the feminine principle. Women are beautiful in their diversity, and it’s not about how you look. It’s about who you are. And if we allow that, if we tap into that power, into that braveness, into that wildness, then that creative force that is hidden in our ovaries and in our warmth starts to be like a volcano that is erupting. And I’ve seen time and time again feminine issues being solved instantly without having treatment. How can they be healed in such a fast way? Because it wasn’t really an issue. It wasn’t a disease on a physical level. It was a disease on an emotional level. And once we allowed those emotions to flow, our instinct tells us who we are, what we feel, and what we want.

 

Oana 

Then the feminine energy starts flowing, and the flow is the principle that we’re looking at. And when the flow happens, then those issues start to heal by themselves.

 

Ioana 

Now that you’re a mother, what would you tell to your baby girl if she came home one day saying, Mum, I was told today at school, I’m so beautiful?

 

Oana 

I don’t think she’s going to end up having an issue with that, because I really realized having her and her being a girl, which is like a blessing for the type of work that I do, is that this initiation starts from the very get-go. Like, I look at how I can be a bridge for her to know her body. For example, like, I caress her from the first day, and I kiss her, and I do it with such love and such compassion and such tenderness for her little body. So that she feels comfortable in her own skin. So I think by the time she’ll be seven or ten or nine if somebody tells her you’re too beautiful or you’re too ugly, she’s just going to say thank you and be fine with it because it’s like that person’s point of view and beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. I mean, can she own her magnificence? She better do it. Yeah, she better do it. We rely on her for that.

 

Ioana 

I’ll go back to Oana because she also asks a very good question regarding this topic. She says when the woman in Asics is dusted, the inner girl resurfaces hijacking pretty much everything the woman has built up to that moment. I loved your last podcast on the topic, but can you give more examples of how one temper and takes care of the inner child?

 

Oana

Well, first of all, acknowledge as an adult that you’re tired because I think the inner girl does not come out in a mean way to sabotage who we are. I think we overwhelmed her with being tired and we’re not addressing our fundamental needs when that happens, whether they are surfacing on a physical, emotional, or psychic level. And the first way to take care of ourselves is to understand that we are bumping against the limit. We’re bumping against an obstacle, and we can’t really deal with it in a powerful way for us or a healthy way for us. And we need to stop and we need to accept that and address that limit and be vulnerable and be out of our comfort zone and not understand what’s happening to us and give ourselves permission to go through that confusion and really feel if I’m tired enough and I’m sabotaging everything, what’s the first thing I have to do? Go to bed, sleep, and become restful, because otherwise, you can’t really be logical about what you need to undergo to stop sabotaging yourself. That’s the first thing. So tending to your physical real need, that’s the first thing you have to do because that’s giving a signal.

 

Oana

I’m hearing you. I’m taking care of you now. You can deal with why are you coming up in a sabotaging way to me. What’s the attention that I’m not giving to you? And what’s the emotional need that’s surfacing? I was actually today talking to one of my students, and she’s having this very chaotic period in her life. She’s a stewardess and she’s flying now to very long-distance flights, and she’s having trouble with sleep, with the time zone. But it’s a breakthrough in her career and she feels like a little child stuck in I’m not good enough and I have to be on top of everything. And I have to take an A grade at school, and she’s overlapping this experience of her inner girl with what’s happening in her life because nobody taught her. It’s okay to feel vulnerable and it’s okay to be in chaos and not know how to deal with it. And that chaos is actually a leap of abundance in her life. It’s a breakthrough in her life. But right now she’s dealing with growing up inside that breakthrough. And she’s coming against all her limitations. And her inner girl is surfacing and she doesn’t know how to take resources in a powerful way.

 

Oana 

So she’s part of this healing process we are doing in a live workshop. And she got herself trapped into I have to do all these assignments and I don’t have time for the assignment. So I’m going to drop, I’m going to run away. And I told her, honey, this is about you being fed with love. And nourishment, this is not about another assignment that’s going to stress you. So if you allow yourself to flow with chaos, if you can feel vulnerable in your limitations, then this is just you picking up on resources that feed you. And nourish you. So forget about assignments. You don’t have to do any assignments. Just be in the process and allow yourself to love yourself to a whole new level. And it’s moments like this when we need nourishment and care and love from our inner mother or from a wise woman that can say, Honey, it’s fine. You’re going through a very important phase in your life. You’re growing up. Growing up is hard. Growing up is very hard. I look at my little girl and I have so much compassion for us humans because it’s really very hard.

 

Oana 

And we kind of forget that if we have adult bodies, we forget that it’s hard to grow up. We’re growing up on an emotional level. Every time something happens in our lives, something changes in our life. And that’s hard too.

 

Ioana

I hope for your thought because I have a question specifically on the topic of the dynamics between the inner girl and woman, more specifically on how the inner girl and the woman would act in the same situation. An example is this. I was invited to dinner by a man. Eventually, after two years of not getting out of my house, I said yes, and we met. It was all right. And the second day he called me again, inviting me again to dinner. And I said, okay, but it would be the second night when I come home after midnight and it would be the second evening when I would probably taste a bit of wine. And I told him my answer is yes, but with one condition. I want to be home at 10:00 P.m. Because I want to be in bed before 11:00 p.m. And after I told him that I had this thought, was I a girl or a bold woman? Now, because I can acknowledge it sounds strange for a man. I just need to go to bed at 10:00 P.m. Because of course it would have been too much to tell him. My history is insomnia and with my issues, I just told him that.

 

Oana 

And I felt good from a point of view because I had the coverage to honor your needs, to honor my needs because it was a need. And at the same time, I felt bad because I said, okay, maybe it works now, but how many other times can I claim to get home before midnight? It sounds like Cinderella, and I’m not sure if I did it from a child’s point of view or from the woman’s voice.

 

Oana 

Well, probably if you’re confused, you’re transitioning to the woman. And because as a woman, you don’t have to excuse yourself or you don’t have to feel guilty or embarrassed or awkward that you are setting up the terms of how you want to participate in a relationship. As a woman, you just say, this is how I roll, take it or leave it. If you want to engage with me, you’re engaged on terms that may give me pleasure. And I don’t have to explain that to you. I’m just mapping you the territory of happiness. So you better be organized loudly and because this is great. And how many men are mapped that way? And it’s a privilege. So take it on and let’s have orgasms before 10:00 P.m.. And I don’t think any man would say no to that. I think they would say, orgasm is fine, 10:00 P.m., it’ll be here. I don’t think the time is that relevant. I think the fear associated with asking for what you truly need comes from the inner girl who in your history didn’t experience having her needs met and being relaxed and safe in expressing those needs so that they will be supported by somebody outside of her or by your own self.

 

Oana 

And now you’re fighting for that inner girl to feel that safety. And you are your own mother in this process. And I think this is very powerful, and I think it’s a very important transition step into fully activating the woman. And for those who are wanting to go deeper into this work, we’re actually preparing a coaching program that’s designed to address the integral and the woman and the dynamic between the two of them. And it’s going to be the four pillars, and it’s very important to work. Most of us get trapped there, even if we’re 50. It’s amazing. It’s truly amazing. And it’s like the woman feels relaxed in her own skin to tend to her needs, and she knows that that’s just part of the self-love that is a prerequisite because how can you teach or guide a man into love if you don’t experience true self-love? You can’t. And love as access for men is what the feminine is bringing as a gift. And it’s the other way around. When we’re trapped in the adolescent or the childlike experience of Cinderella and Prince Charming, we’re waiting for Prince Charming to come and activate emotions in our hearts when we are in a rite of passage connected to the feminine principle.

 

Oana

In our own sacred circle, we learn how to open our hearts with compassion. And the moment we open our feminine energy as a channel to a man, we are uniting, opening a dynamic of pleasure, ecstasy, orgasm, and deepest love, romantic love. But we are the ones guiding that dynamic. We are the ones initiating the men into that. So if we don’t feel confident in our own emotions, if they haven’t matured, if we haven’t really known them, how can we allow a man to go deeper into his own heart? And what will happen and what will play off often is exactly that thing that your friend told you when you were younger. It’s like you’re too smart for a man. You will intimidate him and that man will run away. No, that man is an adolescent. If he runs away first and foremost. And second of all, if you are in your heart fully open and willing and allow the man to go into his own process that he will go through to open his heart, which is a party is running away. Disengaging from the dynamic. If you are patient, tolerant, capable, have the capacity of feeling the man when he’s withdrawing, when he’s coming back and feeling the subtleness of the process that’s underlying his own reactions, then you’re coming from the woman, and you will have the power to withstand his withdrawal and actually guide him into deeper intimacy.

 

Oana 

As an inner kid, you have no access to doing that. The moment he is intimidated or doesn’t know how to react, you’ll lose patience. When he will withdraw, you will feel scared or lonely, and you will want some type of comfort. That’s not real intimacy.

 

Ioana (31:01)

I feel like we’re jumping from one topic to another, but I was thinking that we lose so much energy and time looking for ways to be rock stars, man’s life, or rock a man’s world when we are, in fact, broken. And healing comes only in presence of women. Of course, a man can have a very healing presence, too. But from my experience, healing comes in presence of women. But going back to the question of fertility, when I asked you touched a bit earlier about the topic of mother wand, can you reverse a bit and speak a bit more about that? Because it’s super important?

 

Oana 

Yeah, I think it’s about the symbolic energy of the mother, because even if we had a biological mother who tended to our physical needs, and sometimes emotional needs, most of us do lack the experience of a rite of passage as kids or as teenagers, and do need that wise energy of the mother who is standing by your side and who’s anchoring you step by step. And not all the time that has to come from your biological mother. It can come from wise women around you who are guiding you into your womanhood. And usually, as I was saying, again and again, that happened in rites of passage in tribal villages in ancient times or in the cultures where the feminine energy was present and alive and expressed fully. And I think this is missing in our culture. It’s missing in our society. So even if we had a biological mother, in a way, a spiritual mother as part of our psyche needs to be activated. And the function of the spiritual mother is to tend to my needs step by step, as I grow into a woman and as I become a woman and as I become my own mother, and then as I become a mother to others.

 

Oana 

It’s that aspect in us or outside of us through a mentor who can be my anchor in times of vulnerability and who can, through her authenticity and her capacity to hold me in my vulnerability, teach me how to be safe in my own vulnerability. I think this is one of the most powerful gifts that a woman can bring. Being relaxed and soft in being vulnerable, in not knowing, in making mistakes, in being broken if you want. But the moment you’re authentic about how broken you are, you’re powerful. It’s a paradox. And the mother needs to be part of our psyche and needs to be part of our inner space because this is how the inner girl is receiving all that she needs moment by moment. And it’s only in the presence of the mother that the inner goal can be part of our life but not dominate our life, be present, but allow the woman to express herself. And mother energy is what will balance the dynamic between the inner girl and the woman. And how do we pick up on that? We start nourishing and tending to the inner girl’s needs, not from a place of being an inner girl, not from a place of being her friend, but really looking to that open question of I would tend to the needs of my inner girl or my adolescent as a mother, even if I’m not a mother yet, how would I do that?

 

Oana 

I put myself in that creative exercise physically and psychologically, and I ask myself, how would I resolve this issue? My adolescent doesn’t have confidence. How would I deal with that? How can I support her? How can I feed her? How can I validate her? How can I appreciate her? How can I love her? And it’s specific needs, and it’s specific actions like I go on and I give myself permission to be vulnerable and being afraid of making mistakes. And I’m going to try on things that I feel in my gut that I have to do. And even if I’m going to make mistakes, I’m going to forgive myself. So it’s a very down to Earth, clear action that you can start doing. And then I’m going to go for it, whatever that is, in whatever area. And if I really make a mistake, I’m going to learn from it. I’m going to be open to feedback, and I’m going to come home and surrender myself with loving arms, my own arms and say, It’s okay, girl. You’ve learned something great today. It may have been painful. You didn’t look perfect, but fine. It’s your growth curve.

 

Oana 

Go for it. So it’s activating that mother with it. And I feel it every time. I’m going to a whole new level in my life. The need for the mother, it’s not ending. And most of us do not experience as we grow older and become adults, that the biological mother can be that support for us because our mothers were stuck in the same limitations and weren’t initiated on their own terms. So they’re probably at an emotional age that’s different from mother to mother. And the moment we hit that age in our development, we’re stuck and we can’t move further in that dynamic because we don’t feel nourished, because that person in her inner space cannot really nourish us because she can’t have the resources to nourish us. She has to grow up to her new level to be a resource for us and so on and so forth. So this rite of passage and the sacred circle that women came into in ancient times was part of us connecting different developmental stages with she the woman, she’s the big archetype and funnels through that channel, through that connection, whatever information and energy we needed, moment by moment, that would be a resource for our growth.

 

Ioana

Just to go on with the example I gave earlier with the dinner I had, I arrived home before midnight as I asked for it was perfectly all right. Everything was perfectly all right. But then the next day, I had a huge pain in my belly. Like, physically, I called you and told you to want to please perform the meeting because I really have a huge pain in my belly. And I swear I didn’t realize previously, but then I thought, it can’t be only a coincidence. Like, the pain hit exactly the same day after I met this man. And then I recall everything you’re telling about the inner girl and the mother and inner mother. And I just looked at the situation from this point of view and simply ask myself, what would the mother do for a baby girl in this situation? I’m saying this because I know many of our listeners might ask themselves, okay, it makes sense. What what I’m saying now, but how can I really apply my life, all these teachings? And from my experience is that you won’t succeed from the very beginning, you will hit the rock bottom, probably at a point.

 

Oana

But then the first time you’re putting yourself in that situation after you heard these things so many over and over and over again, you said, oh, my God, it makes sense. Maybe in this situation, I should have done this or that, and then you will start doing the right thing for me automatically.

 

Oana 

Yes, through practice.

 

Ioana 

Yeah. Probably my last question for this episode would be, I know you don’t like the word device, but what would you advise Juana, for instance, or any other woman who has any kind of trouble with feminine issues? Where should they start digging or where should they look? Or what should they do every evening when they come home? What questions should they ask in a proactive way?

 

Oana 

I don’t think they should ask questions. I think they should tend to their bodies. So a good practice would be to just lay on the bed in complete silence or in a piece of very soft music. That’s very relaxing but feminine. Not just meditation or raindrops or stuff like that. That’s more masculine. Just like feminine longing. And really put their hands on the belly, put their hands on the womb, stay there, breathe with the womb for five minutes, ask the womb what do you need? Then come to the heart and breathe with your heart for five minutes and ask the heart what you need. And then really see the whole body and imagine that you’re wrapping yourself in love, your whole being, and you’re staying there like a cocoon. And you’re giving yourself permission to connect to your needs and trusting that if you do that ongoingly, you will tap into your needs, you will listen, you will hear, and you will be able to feel those needs.

 

Ioana

And please be patient with yourselves. You really need time with yourself.

 

Oana 

And that’s a very funny thing because people are impatient nowadays and that’s part of the masculine culture. But actually being patient is not only how you connect with your voice, your inner voice, or not only how the heart opens up, but it’s actually one of the feminine values that are expressed when you have an open heart. We think of impatience or patience as I want it faster. But actually, when your heart is fully healthy and open, you’re patient at the moment and you’re being present in the moment. And patience. It’s a space. It’s not a set of actions that take you faster somewhere. It’s actually a capacity to feel relaxed in the present moment. And funny enough, if you actually open up to being patient, you gain much more than a fast track record of achieving something. You’re opening your heart and you’re being able to tune into the present moment and really fully feel what the present moment has to offer. And that’s just being enriched by everything in your life. And then, yes, you will be on your fast track record of attaining something, because by being in the present moment time and time again, you’re actually addressing what needs to happen in reality.

 

Oana 

So you’re moving faster than you’re actually moving. When you’re trapping a psychological concept in your head.

 

Ioana 

It’s like the maiden waiting for the warrior to come back home. Can you imagine, women who used to wait years or months in silence and they got wiser at the same time? Now, if we don’t hear from our lover in five minutes, five minutes is like cheating on me. Why are you why don’t you answer? This is so toxic.

 

Oana 

It is toxic, and it’s cutting off women’s capacity to be intuitive and connected. Because when men would go to war and women would pray together in a circle for the men that were going to war, they would be able to tune in through their intuition, through their psychic powers that were developed through prayer and meditation. And inside the sacred circle, they would be able to tune into how the man was feeling and what was going on with him, and they would know the truth of any situation the man was involved in. That anxiety that you just addressed comes from the inner girl. It’s an underdevelopment of our emotional landscape, so we want confirmation, and even if we receive confirmation, we don’t trust it. So it’s a vicious circle.

 

Ioana

I’m recalling our movie while you are talking. It’s called because I know our recommendations for books and movies are really received with joy. And now when you were talking, I remembered the movie called the White Queen. I think so maybe if you’re listening, just Google it. I think that’s the right name. The White Queen. It’s not probably the best movie, but it gives you a very good picture of how women got wiser and developed the woman inside in this type of solitude that you’re talking about.

 

Oana 

And it’s actually a prerequisite of a woman’s journey into being a woman if you ask me. And it’s how a woman will experience intimacy in her life and draw her lover closer to her because the moment she can be in the void and can be in the darkness of the solitude that the practice is bringing, Then she will be able to envelop her man’s heart and stay with the toughness and the closeness of that heart enough until the heart of the man cracks open. She can’t do that from inner girl energy. It’s impossible. And that’s where we come into play. So, yes, men don’t necessarily feel intimidated by us. They might be teenagers who never really had their heart open or their heart got open and is now broken and they need to address those issues.

 

Ioana 

I think there’s a lot to take in. So I propose that we stop now and save the rest of the questions for another episode.

 

Oana

Great. Let’s do that. And for those of you who are willing to go deeper into your heart’s mysteries, we’re really preparing a black Friday surprise. We’re going black this year and it’s a very powerful program. It’s called the four pillars and it’s an introduction to the woman’s journey, and I totally recommend it.

And Ioana, if we answered your question, we are looking forward to receiving a new question from you. Thank you.