In my past writing I’ve introduced you to how I met Oana and to how this encounter changed my life. No puffed up words, just the good ol’ truth. If you missed it, you can catch up with the whole account here.
Now, it’s time to move on to the 2nd part of the whole epic. I therefore invite you to be my partner in exploring the first and most fearsome snag I had to overcome during my personal journey — self-care. 🤦♀️
And what I mean by self-care has little to do with long weekends at the spa (even though this kind of pursuit can have its own merit). 💁♀️
While preparing the draft for this article, I took a few days to summon my recollections. — How can I mark out the core pattern of how I simply failed to take care of myself for the past 33 years?
Here’s an outline of what came up:
- I’ve always got attached to people who did not value me;
- I’ve consistently rejected people who did value me;
- I spend 99% of my vital energy trying to prove my value to people who couldn’t care less;
- When I did not get the expected feedback, I took the whole blame of having no value;
- I’ve always believed my dreams are surreal and thus I have zero chances to turn them into factual reality;
- Hence, my life has no value;
- Which leads us to me giving up on my own dreams and my own life, while committing to investing everything in growing the dreams and the lives of others;
- Next, “chronic fatigue” landed as the watchword of my life; and that is, trust my word, the starting point of a downward spiral you’d never wish to get yourself into.
Now here’s a confession — it might take an ocean to see you’re running in circles looking for normality, but learning how to build a healthy foundation can be the most exciting adventure of your life.
It’s not my part to tell you what you should do, but here’s what surely did not help me at all — asking myself “why”. “Why this” and “why that” proved to be the most useless and boring questions I could ask.
Instead, I truly believe in the power of doing and in the merit of awareness.
Trial and error are the keys to progress. You’ll never learn what works for you, if you don’t actually bring yourself into the game and give it a shot. Just pay attention, stay alert, and examine with awareness every bump in the road or rainbow in the sky.
Practicing with awareness redefined me the whole concept of self-care.
In my most bitter days, when I hesitate about my self-worth or when I have no idea how to decide if a person or a given situation are a good idea, Oana tells me this — go back to the sacred space of your heart and ask your higher self what’s best for you.
It took me two years to understand the meaning of this phrase. Yep, two. 🤫 And I’m still not sure I’d be able to explain it using the best words.
But because I want to leave you with some hands-on tools that you can actually use along your own journey, I asked Oana for some help.
Here’s what she has to say about sacred space, self-love and self-care:
“We, women, are known to be very sensitive, refined creatures; and we need protection to surrender. We can’t just open up and trust. We need to feel safe.
In ancient times, women used the creation of the sacred space as a way to feel guarded and protected. Not by a man, but by their own beating hearts. This gave them access to start the mature work of discovering the gifts of The Feminine. It gave them courage to be vulnerable and walk with their own shadows, hidden gifts, and untamed voices, long enough until they grew strong and fierce and were ready to own who they are and meet the outside world expecting nothing in return and being ready to offer everything.
Sacred space and the extension of it, the sacred circle, create the context in which a woman can be herself. Here, she remembers that the power she can master comes from knowing who she is.
The sacred space allows you to become soft and gentle and patient with yourself. It allows your Heart to awaken and it gives you access to letting go of any conditioning, so that you can surrender to your true rhythm and to your true voice.
Walk in the sacredness within you; connect to the sacred invisible circle. In here, the feminine awaits. And the women who have done the work are going to meet you there, in the Heart. It looks mystical and, in fact, it is. Eventually, we are mystical creatures, aren’t we? 🙂
What does the sacred space teaches you about self-care? First, it teaches you about yourself; then, it teaches you about your own needs. One step forward, it teaches you how to take care of your needs. This is the only way to experience love. First with yourself, until you are ready to receive it and share it with the others.”
Now you get me when I tell you I’m not able to reproduce it? 😉
But here’s the best thing you can do. Skip the need to “understand”. Instead, read those words again and again and again and let them melt into your heart. Then, close your eyes and surrender to the energy; let it take you up, on the tender wings of kindness, passion, and love. That’s how you experience self-care, the feminine way. And that’s also how I learned to take care of myself. 💞
In sacred love,