Hey, there! Ioana here, super happy to connect with you again! 👏
Today, I would like us to exchange views on a topic that nobody EVER wants to pick — “growing up”.
Yep, I’m gonna grab that hot potato right from the boiling soup. 🔥 🥔
Also, I’m perfectly aware that your instinct will tell you to skip this right away. — Who wants to grow up, after all? 🤦♀️
Well, DON’T skip it. You’re about to find out 3 foolproof tips on how to deal with maturity with ease and grace.
Growing up — what does it mean to you?
The first thing that comes into my mind when I think of growing up is the inferred paradox. We all dream of a whole life, remarkable relationships, breathtaking passion, and skyrocketing careers, ain’t it?
Yet, do we REALLY know how to own the game? 🤔
To my surprise, along my personal development journey, I discovered that the roadmap to growing up is NOT made of dramatic changes and painful lessons. Or at least it doesn’t have to be. Instead, the avenue from girlhood to womanhood and from boyhood to manhood (aka growing up) is founded on some wonderful twists and surprising turns. You just have to SEE it that way.
#1 Build a solid foundation
Have you ever tried the “who are you?” exercise?
Identity formation and representation was one of the topics I was most passionate about during university.
No surprise I was pretty shocked when, during a practical exercise, I suddenly found myself completely unable to come up with a decent answer to what seemed to be a basic question. 😦
If you think I’m being overdramatic, just try it. Take a piece of paper and write down the answer to this question: “who are you?”
Why coming up with an answer is important?
Knowing who you are makes a solid foundation for your personal development.
Knowing who you are translates in:
- acknowledging your needs;
- learning how to fulfil them;
- owning your gifts (aka. strong points);
- knowing what you like;
- loving what you like;
- cutting out on everything that doesn’t serve any of the above.
How I found the answer?
Among the many things I did, the Inner Girl work was undoubtedly one of the the most powerful and useful. It gave me so many insights, I could easily write a Proustian novel about it.
Curious what Oana has to say about identity, growing up and the Inner Girl?
Here’s a sneak peak:
“There is a reason why every child dreams of growing up. Even at the carefree age, when everything is taken care of for us, we know that being a grown up implies freedom and power.
Driving from childhood to youth and to being a full grown woman is the journey that takes us from trying to do the best with what is given, to being creators and trailblazers and giving birth to contexts, situations, and relationships that did not exist before.
As grown up women we are fully able to create a third and a forth option whenever needed. We do not have to choose only between A or B. Alas, we are not bound to choose the “acceptable” version of anything.
Where do the strength, the confidence and the vision of a woman come from? From her daily time spent in the sacred space of the heart, asking for guidance and learning to fine tune her spiritual discernment. Any woman who discovers this little secret continues to play like children do and also have “unreasonable” dreams like young women do. But they quit feeling burdened by the responsibilities of being grown up, embracing a world of new possibilities and the chance to be a true leader and a source of ceaseless beauty.”
#2 Draw healthy boundaries
This one naturally draws from the first one.
Let me ask you this —how many times did you feel you’re hurting yourself because you are allowing too much, giving more than you ought to or simply because you place the needs of others on top of your own needs?
I did all that for as long as I can remember. And I stoped only when I realised that self-care IS NOT spoiling yourself; but learning how to draw healthy boundaries.
Say STOP when enough is enough. Or say “thank you” and LET GO when you don’t feel respected and honoured.
As simple as that. No strings attached or ghosts left hiding under the bed. 👻
#3 Follow your intuition
Do you remember how Oana and I met? Here’s the full story.
What made us click in spite of a messy context was Oana’s intuition. She knew who lied and who was genuine and hold space for me to do exactly the same. And it worked wonders.
I recall how I once asked Mr. M (learn more about the mysterious Mr. M by listening to our podcasts here) what’s the difference between intuition and wishful thinking. “Experience”, he replied, wise as always.
In the world of the feminine, intuition might be a bit more than that; but summing up, he was right.
TRY THIS—next time you have a hunch on something or someone, try to sniff the difference between what your heart is whispering and what your mind is trying to convince you. Take on both and compare results.
These being said, growing up is not an easy job.
But the gracious thing you can do is skip all the misconceptions and make the process as enjoyable as possible! It’s worth it, I promise.
Oh and by the way, growing up TRULY is the only key to passion and sensuality. But more about that, on our next encounter! 😉❤️
In sacred love,