The Feminine

Compassion — The Lesson We All Must Face On The Road Of Life

Here’s a very personal story (about compassion and much more).

I grew up in the Eastern part of the world, in a country that went through the storm of a Communist regime.

While growing up, I was made to believe that love is all about being polite and decent; which basically meant never stating the truth. An so I’ve learned, very early on, that we have to pretend that the big elephant in the room is never actually in the room. 🐘

I remember how shocked I was, as a child, wondering why nobody really gets it. And it’s not like nobody gets it. But more about how nobody actually wants to address it.

What are we avoiding, I wondered? —​ Anything uncomfortable, dysfunctional and possibly painful. We are avoiding it because we were taught that pain is something we should disregard.

I am talking about pain because pain is part of life and pain is part of what it means to be a human being. The more we deny and avoid it, the more it builds up on the inside and shuts us down, not only to love and intimacy, but to life in its wholeness.

Pain is part of the road and pain can also be the key. ​

Why? Because it breaks down the ego. It breaks down all those defences we were taught we need to build, to be able to cope with the unpredictable. It is part of life and when we allow discomfort to be present, we allow all of life to be present.

Pain can lead us to opening up, expand us beyond the comfort zone and make us grow. And with growth, it brings acceptance and it opens the heart.

This is the beginning of compassion.

Soon, if you stay open and avoid shutting down again, you allow the heart to inform you and a deep understanding arises. Your heart will make you learn how the pain has, in fact, a reason. It was purposefully part of the path of you becoming who you are meant to become.

Compassion is a blossoming that occurs when your heart is open and you consciously breathe with her. It can be practiced and, in time, it starts to inform you about your own personal truth.

It is the capacity to accept things the way they are. And this brings acceptance to the situation you are going through. It brings peace and trust.

For a woman, compassion can become a sacred gift.

Within a woman’s heart lies the capacity to alchemise pain. To turn pain into stillness.

How? — By simply being with it, breathing with it deep down from the belly, deep down from the heart.

I remember being in the middle of a complicated love story with a man whom I was dearly found of. Yet, love was not enough to turn us into a couple

I was experiencing both pain and pleasure, at the same time. I was coping with the situation like any of us, doing the best I could. But one day, the pain was enough. I couldn’t do it anymore. So, I faced it. I had to. And my heart cracked open. I was in tears and I was judging the whole situation, bending over backwards to find a solution. But the pain didn’t move an inch. Slowly, I started breathing deeply with my heart and something started to relax in such an unexpected way.

Through breathing, which is a powerful form meditation, I discovered compassion. 

My heart took me into a dimension where I could clearly see he was going to choose another woman. And that would be painful for both of us.

I started breathing with my pain and with his pain and with the pain of our story. Just me, the pain, and the breath. Somehow, my heart guided me into acceptance. I was able to come to terms with me being in this situation. And I felt so much sweetness and love towards all of it. Freedom popped up and along with it the experience of being able to stay intimate, regardless of what we were going through.

Bit by bit, I started to relax and became able to allow things to be as they were. It was an amazing experience that my heart guided me into, allowing me to reach freedom in a heavily charged context.

He later shared with me, in one of our intimate moments, that he experienced a sort of healing, like something in his mind shifted, like he was perceiving things wrong and now it’s all gone.

What I saw in my meditation happened. But I was able to let him go, without judging anybody; me included.

This is the true gift that compassion can bring and this is part of the power of the feminine. And I want you to always remember this.

And precisely because compassion is such a powerful emotion, we also dedicated it a very special video. Watch it now, it’s really worth the time! 👇

Next, join us in exploring more about the miracle of creating a climate of acceptance and love, by allowing our hearts to emanate compassion. Share your comments and questions below. 👇 Together we are powerful indeed!

All my love,

2017 © The Feminine, by Oana Stoianovici

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